(Image from dragonstouch.co.uk, a website I obviously frequent.)
Meet the Komodo dragon.
A creature of island gigantism, this guy weighs in at 100 pounds (not including undigested food).
He eats a little of everything red. A sampling of their dietary delights: Monkeys, baby Komodo dragons, insects, humans and human corpses (if they can dig their way into a grave), miscarried deer remains — as in, they “have been observed intentionally startling a pregnant deer in the hopes of a miscarriage whose remains they can eat.” (Wikipedia.)
He has insanely virulent bacteria living in his mouth (think E. coli and staph, sharing a community with 55 other gross strains). Even though he could probably bite his victims and then wait for the bacteria to kill them, he also has venom at his disposal, which causes hypothermia and bleeding to death.
He generally has blood-tinged saliva, caused by the fact that he’s very gummy (his teeth are mostly covered in gum tissue) and he gets all cut up during a feast. After he eats 80% of his body weight by swallowing an animal whole or in chunks, he drags himself “to a sunny location to speed digestion, as the food could rot and poison the dragon if left undigested for too long.” (Wikipedia.) Ew.
At some point he will fight other males for territory and females. He often vomits or defecates in preparation for the fight. The winner of the fight for a woman’s hand will later pin her down to force himself on her, so that she doesn’t lash out and hurt him. But it must just be part of the game, because then they mate for life.
You can read the whole story on Wikipedia, but this is pretty much the highlight tape.
Why am I reading and writing about Komodo dragons at 3am? Good question. Z and I were fighting over whose mouth was cleaner and he told me I had a mouth like a Komodo dragon. I had to look it up.
I am slightly obsessed with oral hygiene, so I take offense to that comment, now that I know what it means. Not true. And totally disgusting.
